Working in retail helped me overcome my anxiety by pushing me out of my comfort zone, allowed me to grow my confidence, helped me develop my skills in communication and opened doors I never thought possible.
When I got my first job, I really was only doing it because it was the next step in becoming a “normal, functioning human being.” It was what kids my age were doing or had been doing since they were 16.
At 20, getting a job seemed to be the logical thing to do. Every one of my friends were making their own money, going out and doing things, and buying things. If I wanted to join them, I either had to ask my parents for money or my friends. They, graciously and thankfully, usually offered to pay. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t go.
I was beginning to feel like a burden, and not just financially. I also felt like I was missing out on a lot.
A BOOST IN CONFIDENCE
When I got my first job and started to make my own money, my confidence was the first thing I noticed that improved. While working was a little scary at first, I quickly realized how good I was.
I had a few moments where I was like “woah, look at me doing the things I never thought were possible for me.” It does something warm and fuzzy on the inside to me because I realized that I’m actually, truly, capable of doing scary and hard things.
Not only that, but it also felt good to be able to earn my own money and join in on activities and adventures with my friends. I no longer had to feel badly about asking my parents or friends to spot me anymore and that was an incredible feeling.
BETTER COMMUNICATION
Not only did I see an improvement in my confidence and happiness, but it also taught me how to be a better communicator.
Making friends in school was hard for me. My anxiety always stood in the way of me trying to strike up a conversation or made it difficult to keep one flowing. In retail, being able to communicate and build a rapport with customers was essential to building a connection with them.
I learned about “open ended questions,” which are questions that someone can’t just respond “yes” or “no” to. They are questions that can start with “how” or “what.”
Example: What brings you in today? How are you? What can I help you with today?
Using these types of open ended questions require the customer to respond in a way that leaves the door open for further conversation.
I also learned how complimenting someone went a long way in starting up a conversation as well.
Now, it’s so much easier to start conversations and to keep them going.
BREAKING HABITS
Working also had its challenges though. During our store meetings and we would have to role-play and my anxiety would shoot through the roof. I despised being the center of attention and wanted to avoid it at all costs.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t always get out of them, which ended up being a good thing. Being pushed out of my comfort zone and being exposed to those situations made them less scary.
I still didn’t necessarily like being in those situations, but I also didn’t try to avoid them either. I just let the anxiety move through me and then did the best I could.
Another challenge I faced was receiving criticism. I always ended up taking it super personally and took what they were saying to heart. It took me a while to realize they weren’t attacking me or my character.
Taking constructive criticism helped me in my regular day-to-day life as well. I learned I didn’t need to personalize everything and turn it into a negative comment or feeling about myself.
SETTING & MAINTAINING BOUNDARIES,
After a few years, I ended up in a leadership position and have maintained a leadership position since. Being a leader requires a whole new set of skills – skills that I didn’t think came easily by me.
As a leader, I had to be firm, but reasonable. I needed to be able to set and maintain boundaries. It also meant that I had to be able to have hard and difficult conversations, and I needed to stand up for, not only myself, but my associates and the business.
Some things came easier than others, but over time, I learned how to handle hard or difficult situations and I was no longer afraid of them either. Dealing with irate or angry customers is never fun, but I don’t cower away from them now.
Being a leader in retail has helped me to stand my ground and stand up for myself in my life outside of work.
I’ve learned and grown so much over all the years and I can’t possibly fit everything into this post. These are just the few things that have made the biggest impact on me and my anxiety.
I have seen a very noticeable difference in the way that I manage my anxiety and I’ve overcome quite a bit. I no longer struggle the way I used to and it’s all thanks to my little retail job.
With Love & Support,
Molly
