What is fear?
According to Merriam-Webster, fear is defined as “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.”
Fear is natural emotion that helps us recognize a dangerous situation, physical or psychological. It can occur in response to something that is happening in the present moment or in anticipation of a future event.
In therapy, I was told that FEAR was False Evidence Appearing Real. I was afraid of what I thought was going to happen without having the evidence that it would happen. My fears were based on theoretical outcomes that I had deceived myself into believing were the only outcomes.
With that in mind, I did my best to reassess situations and events that were inciting fear. Rather than mulling over all the possible negative outcomes, I tried to consider possible positive outcomes. By taking that approach, I was able to alleviate the intensity of fear that I was feeling.
My Experience
During my three months of quarantine, I was living my best life- a fairy-tale life. For someone who has social anxiety, having to stay home was pretty much perfect. I got comfortable with how things were, I established a routine, and I was content with only leaving the house when I needed to go grocery shopping. But then, the clock struck midnight and my fairy-tale ended. I got the call from my job stating that they would be re-opening their doors to the public in about a week. Immense fear and panic swallowed me whole. I didn’t want to go back. I didn’t want to leave my fairy-tale bubble. I tried to come up with a million reasons why I didn’t need to go, but in the end, I knew that I had to.
For the entire week leading up to my first day back, I was on the phone crying to my mother, expressing my fears, hoping that she would tell me I didn’t have to go. She didn’t. She knew that giving me permission would only enable me, reinforcing the idea that my anxiety had power over me. Instead, she told me I had to push aside my fears, put on my big girl pants, and recognize that I had the power over my anxiety. And that’s what I did.
I knew that there were protocols set in place by my company to ensure the safety of their associates and customers. I knew there would be a limit on the capacity of the store, cleaning procedures, fitting room procedures, and check-out procedures. I knew all that I feared was not founded in reality, and that I was assuming the worst outcomes.
After completing my first day back, I felt proud and satisfied that I had made it through.
Take a moment to reassess the situation triggering your fear, and ask yourself if you have the evidence to substantiate your feelings. If you don’t, then focus on the positive aspects rather than the negative.
With love & support, Molly
