While The Backpack of Horrors may sound like the title of some low-budget, poorly filmed horror movie, I can assure you It’s not. The Backpack of Horrors is where I stored all of my negative experiences.
Anytime something made me uncomfortable, embarrassed, or nervous, I would take that feeling or event, and toss it into my backpack. I would then use those experiences as an excuse to avoid doing something in the future that was reminiscent of an experience I’ve already had.
It had become second nature for me to tote around my backpack, reach into it, pull out an event, and use it against myself. After acknowledging this, I knew I couldn’t keep carrying my backpack. Doing so only hurt my chances of making progress and of managing my anxiety. It fueled my fears, which in turn, prevented me from trying new things, making new memories, and having better experiences.
I tried to look at each new situation differently, while keeping in mind that my FEAR was what I thought would happen but didn’t actually happen. Little by little, I was able to empty my backpack of the negative and replace it with positive instead, and eventually, the good outweighed the bad.
If you find yourself carrying your own Backpack of Horrors, remember that lugging it around will not help you to move forwards on your path to managing your anxiety. Allow yourself to make new memories and experiences. Make it a Backpack of Positivity.
With love & support, Molly.
