Experiencing a setback can feel like a soul crushing blow, shattering all personal progress we’ve made, and it’s easy to get stuck in a negative mindset because we are disappointed that we’ve ended up where we have.
Setbacks don’t mean it’s the end for us, and they don’t negate the progress we’ve made- they are simply a minor delay in progress, a hurdle we must overcome to move us towards our next accomplishment.
Rather than building up our setbacks into these huge, monstrous things in our minds, it’s important to take a step back and remember that we have navigated through setbacks before, and we will navigate our way through the next one too.
“Setbacks are only ever as big as the amount of time it takes us to choose to move through them.”
Kyree Oliver
From my late teen years well into my young adult life, venturing out into public alone has caused severe anxiety. It seems like such a small, silly thing to get anxiety over, but it’s been something that I’ve struggled with on and off.
If I had to go grocery shopping, go to the bank, or get my oil changed, I would get heart palpitations, sweaty palms and feet, and I would get shaky. I hated to go anywhere if I didn’t have someone else with me.
Prior to my boyfriend and I moving, I had been able to keep my anxiety under control when going out because I was familiar with my surroundings. I would experience mild discomfort here and there, but nothing that would impede my ability to leave the house.
Over the last two months though, my anxiety about going out alone has resurfaced and magnified due to my boyfriend and I moving to a new place in a new area outside of my comfort zone. I have found it to be increasingly more difficult to subdue my anxious feelings and to talk myself up into leaving the apartment for anything else besides going to work, visiting my parents, and visiting my best friend.
At this moment in time, it is crucial for me to remember that this minor setback (being fearful of leaving my house) is something I’ve experienced before. It is something that I have overcome before as well, and will overcome again. I am also aware that this setback has occurred because I am in a new place that is outside of my comfort zone. I know that once I familiarize myself with this new place, this new area, I will no longer feel fearful about venturing off into public places by myself.
I know that the place I am at now is not my final destination, it is merely a stepping stone on the path to success.
If you find yourself facing a setback, look at it objectively rather than emotionally. Instead of wrapping yourself up in feeling badly about where you are, ask yourself what event or decision caused you to have this setback. Remind yourself that obstacles have been thrown your way before and they have yet to defeat you.
With love and support, Molly
