When we feel we are too weak to handle our anxiety and cannot trust our own thoughts, turning to those we trust can mean the difference between falling into the pit of despair or rising above it. Having a healthy support system is a vital component of successfully managing our anxiety.
A healthy support system includes those whom we can turn to without fear of being judged, mocked, or having our feelings invalidated. They show understanding and compassion, listen to us, acknowledge our feelings, encourage us to move forward, and celebrate our triumphs and victories, no matter how small. They also help us to sort out our thoughts by helping us to recognize when our thoughts have become irrational. They offer constructive suggestions, and when necessary, tell us what we need to hear, not what we want to hear. They may even offer a new perspective, one we couldn’t see because we were so consumed by our anxious, negative thoughts.
A few years ago, my best friend drove two hours to visit me and to attend a Christmas party hosted by one of her life-long friends. I was nervous to go, but I knew that it would be fun, and I might actually enjoy myself. I also didn’t want my friend to miss the opportunity to see her childhood friend as well as her friend’s family. I powered through my anxiety and went.
The house was full of people and was buzzing with activity. I tried to push aside my anxiety, mingle, and join in on the games. I managed to play one game, but by the time the next one rolled around, my social meter had hit it’s max and I went into panic mode, consumed by an intense need to get out of house immediately. So, I did.
My anxiety had become so incapacitating that, as soon as I had made it outside, I burst into tears. A few minutes later, my friend, understanding how I was feeling, and knowing it was time for me to go, emerged from the house. I felt guilty for being the cause of us leaving the party early, but she didn’t judge me, she didn’t get mad at me, and she didn’t hold it against me. She consoled me as we headed back to my house, and my anxiety began to dissipate.
Having my best friend as a member of my support system has been the ultimate blessing.
Take note of those who genuinely support you and have your best interest at heart.
With love & support, Molly
